I Was Only 11

It all really started the summer after my grade 6 year. I started hanging out at my mom's best friend's house. My parents lived in the country at the time with my 9 year old brother. My 16 year old brother was in jail at the time and my 20 year old sister was living with her boyfriend and 2 kids. My mom's best friend lived in housing in a nearby town. I ended up staying at her house all summer long. I got used to the fact that I could stay out as late as I wanted and I started drinking, smoking, doing drugs, having sex, and hanging out with people a lot older than me. I liked it. I thought that this was the life I was to live.

September came along and I went back to my parent's to start off my grade 7 year. I lasted a couple of months back at home. But it was hard. I couldn't just go out and do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I couldn't get my hands on anything. It sucked. So I started to get really rebellious.

Then one day, I decided I was going to run away. I thought anywhere was better than there. So I packed my things and left. My parents called the police and my dad caught me hitchhiking down the road. I had never seen my dad cry until that day. He asked me to go with him. So I got in his truck and he brought me back to my parent's house.

The cops showed up not too long after I got back to my house. They told my parents that there was nothing they could do about it since I was back in the home. So that day, I decided that I wanted to be put in Children's Aid Society. A few days later I was put into their care. I ended up being moved to a town 30 minutes away from my home town.

I stayed there for a couple of weeks and then I was on the road. I packed my things again, not knowing where I was going. My one friend ended up coming with me. We walked back to my home town and for the first few days, we didn't eat and we slept in laundromats and on the streets.

About a week after we got into town, my best friend found us. My best friend was a 20 year old male. He lived in a one bedroom apartment with his 19 year old male roomate. My friend and I ended up going to live with him. After a few days, my friend got caught by the cops. A few weeks later, I was found intoxicated and stonned on the street. I went back into care. A few weeks later, I left again, and went back to my best friend's house.

We ended up getting evicted out of there and I was on the streets again. This time, it was winter. I remember every night, I was wondering if I would survive the snow storm. There were nights, where I would think to myself ' Maybe I would be better off in Children's Aid.'

But I never did go back. I stuck it out and soon enough, my cousin found me. He took me back to his place and my best friend and I lived with him in a bachelor's apartment. Children's Aid was willing to give my cousin custody of me.

Then one day, my best friend and I got into a fight and I left. So again I was on the street.
Children's Aid then found me and put me in a home in my home town. This foster home would let me do anything. I was never home. I was always out partying and having a good time. By this time, I was 12 years old. Then my foster home started getting more strict. I had rules to follow. I didn't like it, so I told my 18 year old boyfriend that I was leaving town.

I left to a big town 45 minutes away from my hometown. I didn't know anyone who lived there, but I knew I was going. I was there to long before I found somebody which I did know. I meet him through my best friend. So I moved in with him. I started getting into the heavier drugs than. I got real big on cocaine. I had a problem and I knew I did. Then one day, on my downer, I called my mom at 6 am. I hadn't slept all night and I was having bad withdrawls.

My mom came and got me that day and took me to a rehab in that town. I was in there for a while. Once I finally got out, Children's Aid moved me 45 minutes away from the other side of my home town. I was put into a group home there. I went back to school in April and got my grade 7. I was doing great there. I wasn't talking to anyone from my hometown, I wasn't drinking, I wasn't doing drugs, and I wasn't having sex anymore. I started off grade 8 there and then in December of that year, I moved back to my parent's house.

I got back into drugs, drinking, having sex, and hanging out with all of my old friends again. And again, come January I left again. I was on the streets again. Nowhere to go and no money to live off of. I ended up meeting what I thought to be this really nice guy at one of our local bars. And I moved in with him. At the time I was 14 and he was 20, divorced, and had a 1 year old daughter. Not too long after we got together, I found out I was pregnant. I had to quit my partying. And no matter what I did, I HAD TO GET OUT OF MY RELATIONSHIP. I was scared too. I was 13 and about to have a baby. I had no source of income and my baby's daddy was abusive.

My sister ended up getting me out of there. And I moved in with her. I guess I waited to long though, because I ended up having a miscarraige. Then in April of that year, I turned 14 and I was getting charged with truancy for my second time. I got a year probation again and I started getting homeschooled. I quit doing drugs and drinking because I was living with my sister, her husband and their 4 children. I started dating this 17 year old once he got out of jail. We were together for a while and then I got pregnant again. This was another abusive guy. He was always hitting me. But that baby was strong. Until one day, I got jumped. I lost that baby.

That summer I moved in with my friend, her older brother, and their mom. I started drinking and doing drugs everyday again. I couldn't stop. All I wanted to do was party. Then September came. I was on the streets again. The fair was coming to my town that month, so I decided to work for them for some cash. So I became a carnie.

After that, I moved back home for a month. My parents ended up kicking me out, so I was back on the streets once again. I had nowhere to go. I ended up getting put back into Children's Aid.
I ran away again in November. I went and stayed with my old best friend(the 20 year old male)'s sister and her 2 kids. I ended up pretty much taking care of her kids. She was always gone. Then Christmas Eve came along. I called my mom up and asked her if I could come home for Christmas. She told me 'NO'. It hurt me a lot to know that my family didn't want me anymore. I ended up going back into care. It sucked. But I knew I had to get my life back together.

So ever since January, I have been living at this one house. I'm never home though. I go home about once a month and that is it. Everyone has now given up on me. I sleeping everywhere agian and my parent's don't care what I do anymore. And Children's Aid is finally considering letting me go.

Tomorrow, I go to court. I could very much so end up in jail. I have never been there before, but I'm guessing with all the things I went through and at what age I went through them. I can deal with jail.

Some people might say, I had an easy life. Hell. They tell me that I have. But I don't think I had it easy. I am going to be celebrating my 15th birthday in 3 days and I have already been to rehab for a cocaine addiction, been pregnant, haven't lived at home since I was 11 years old, been and still are a drug user. Sure I admit. I smoke weed, but I will NEVER do cocaine again.
There are days where I want to kill myself. But then I look at my 5 year old nephew, 3 year old neice, and 2 two year old neice and nephew. I love those kids and I want to watch them grow.


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