I Was Only 12

I was only 12. (right now I'm 17) I had a very messed up family - an abusive dad, a loving mom, handicap brother which I loved very much, and another younger brother which called me names and hit me. All the other family members didnt live with us. I was tired of my brother always beating me and my dad threatening me and calling me names. The only one who loved me was my mom and my handicap older brother which I couldnt love more.

I had no plan when I left. I took some clothes and a blanket amd left a note writing why I left. Where I live isn't the place u want to run away but I did. I wandered the streets for four days, almost getting kidnapped once and raped twice. But I didn't because I fought back.

i slept outside gas stations and super markets, not staying anywere long. In two weeks I was miles from my hometown. I had went from Halifax to Millersburg through there and ended up in Sunberry somehow. I didn't have any cops out but I always saw signs up for me. I know my mother was worried sick and my brother missing me, so at one of the gas station I slept at I got some loose change and called home. My mom picked up. I could tell she had been crying and I heard my dad in the background and I said as quickly as I could trying not to cry not to let dad know it was me. she agreed and we talked for about a hour. Then I had to go. I asked her not to keep looking for me and not to get the cops in this.

So far I had done no drugs and hadn't been raped, but I knew by the end of this it wasnt gonna be the same. 3 months later I 'm in another state. I still find loose change to call my mom and brother. I met a boy that I really liked but we didn't do anything. I still haven't done drugs or been raped. My dark brown hair now grown down below my but. It was above but now is below. I have many friends. My street name being Ray but my real name is R. A year later I 'm still on the streets, still call my mom and have been raped more then six times now.

How u ask? Well I tell u.

Tthe first time it was only about 5 months. I was with M. for 2 months or so now and we were out with his friend. Well him and me have had sex before more then once . (I'm only 13) and it was his friends, them all being boys, and me we were going through the woods. We had met up after me and M. had sex, and he was telling them stuff but I couldn't catch any of it. They stop and all jump on me pinning me on my stomach because there is about 5 of them. M. and my head kneeling begging me to do them all and I refused and I'm screaming while 2 of them hold me down and the other two are trying to get my clothes off. They finally succeed to get me to do it.

Afterwards I wouldn't talk to M. and wandered off from them, going back to a factory to sleep inside. When I wake up I see M. there and leave quickly still mad.

The next time I was on the street and M. was off stealing to get money for us to eat and someone rapes me right there on the street. M. comes back and gets angry when I tell him but not at me.

Next time I was gang raped. I was off mad at M. because we had a fight and a gang comes up behind me, grabs me, dragging me in a factory and rapes me.

The others are about the same but the one I will never forget was I've been on the street 3 years now, yes 3, and I'm 15. I was staying with friends, 2 girls, 4 guys. I was on a bunk with a guy and 2 other guys on the bottom bunk while the others were in a different room and I drink so I was drunk and I was sleeping naked and I woke up cause I felt colds hands on my chest and saw one guy trying to spread my legs so he can fuck me and the other making sure I don't move. I screamed and finally got out. I got dressed, told the others we left them there.

After 5 years being on the street and being away from my family I called my mom telling her I'm gonna start on my way back home because I'm all the way in North Dakota by now when I started in PA, and my mom told my brother but no one else and a month later I was in my town, M. by my side. I was seventeen and I had a surprise for my mom which you will find out later, and I walk up my driveway, knock on my door. My mom opens the door and if I wouldn't had smiled she wouldn't had known me because I changed so much. I was skinny and so was M.. My brother came over and my mom told him who I was and he was so happy to see me. Then I showed my mom my surprise that she was a grandmother to a little girl named F., her birthday coming up and her only being 11 months old.

My brother and father came and I hide fazel behind me and looks at my father. M. looked at me and knew excatly who they were and stood close to me and I introduce him to my mom and brother. After about a half an hour I went in and took a bath while M. watch F. I got clean clothes on and brush my hair out. Then I watched F. while my mom trimmed his hair how he likes it. He took a bath and got clean clothes. Then I gave F. a bath, did her hair,and put my old baby clothes on.

Then I was 17 and M. was 18. We still are and my mom and brother love F. and so do we. I keep F. away from my dad when I ain't here and from my younger brother.

Now here's my advice. Running away was the last thing I came too. I did everything I could before a I ran away. And it wasn't easy raising a kid on the street and having the kid in a old factory but I had M. to stand by me the whole way. And now I question how I ever made it . But then I remember everyday I prayed to God to stay by my side so I know why I made it. Because God was beside me all the time. Because nothing ever happens without a purpose. I don't know how I made without my mom and brother, but I'm so glad they're safe and still alive and I'm gonna make sure that F. or any of my grandchildren and great grandchildren never have to go through what I did.

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