I was gone about 5 hours; I walked out of my area and along the side of the main road. I wished someone would pick me up. But they didnt and I went home. My dad screamed at me and grounded and told me I was out of line for making my step mum cry. I hated him.
This went on for years, always leaving when things got rough, but it got to a point that I was scared to leave because I knew if I did I wouldnt come back. So I shut myself in my room, shut myself inside my head and tried to find another way to escape, and I found it, in my bathroom cabinet, it was a bottle of pain killers. I swallowed 15 maybe 20 tablets and nothing happened, so I drank out of our drinks cabinet, vodka. That didnt work I couldnt get rid of this thing, feeling inside me, so I started to cut myself, thought I could bleed it out, no one knew. I drank everyday, took pain killers, cut myself and nothing helped, I was trapped, and I still am and I still do these things.
I talked to people and that didnt help so I started to run again just for a few hours but now I want to go and never come back, all Im waiting for is the money to go. I dont want to leave home but I think its the only escape I try to ask for help and it doesnt work, people say Im too young to have problems, I say your just too old to remember yours. I know theres other ways but I cant think straight anymore, because I let it go too far, Im not asking you to ignore problems, Im not saying you dont have any, and Im not telling you Im worse off then you. I just want you to think and open every door you can until you lock yourself out like I did. If only I had.
Id made it