When Home is Hell

I am a runaway and this is my story - maybe it will help someone knowing that I am able to get through every day! I do not remember when my real Mom & dad split up. All I know is that they were very young when they married, 17 to be exact, and both very abusive. They had two children. The first didn't make it, my eldest brother W., the second myself.

I guess somewhere along the way my dad thought it would be best if they didn't see each other any more. He left my mother and me with food and clothing just before my first birthday and that was that. My mother was spiteful. I always blamed my father. She always told me stories.

She met another at a park, got pregnant, and there's my brother. It seems perfect right? Why would I want to leave? When my mother was in her seventh terminal of pregnancy I was taken a way by the state! OOH! Why you ask? I was beaten by my brother's father and my mother for ripping up a newspaper. I was given to, we'll say his name is Steve! To Steve's stepmothers while they were taken to court. She almost adopted a beautiful brown haired baby girl. But since they followed persuaders I was given back a year later, so basically it was a long overnight stay.

My mother and Steve fought regularly as I grew up. Sometimes the police were called, sometimes he smoked weed, sometimes if I got in the way I was the vent. My mother became a mad woman who lavished filthy words and threw angry fist at me. One day I felt like the lord had come down and touched me. Daddy had another lady in the house. I told mommy and we left, but not for mommy. See they weren't married. But when they split up she got married and then divorced which was a slap in the face to me because I knew were we were headed. Back to hell!

I was a bout 8. Mama said I was bad. She could see the devil through and through, so she started making me clean first dishes then gradually everything, every room, even cooking and if I didn't get good grades I got it worse and I'm not talking spankings or grounding. I once got in trouble at school. Well Steve was remodeling the house at the time. OK, I came home he said he got the call. Told me to go out side get a 2 by 4 and bend over the steps and he started to hit me. All I did was laughed in class.

I have been hit with just about every thing imaginable. A knife thrown at me, ball bats, screwdiver, fan, boards, everything and boiling water, I have even been beat to the ground for looking my mama in the eyes when she was drunk and saying I love you! I was also raped and molested by not only now my step father (AUGUST,23 2003 they were married, 6 year engagement), but my ex grandpa, two cousins her side and I don't want to say.

I was fifteen and had wanted to leave since I was seven. I had been cutting my wrist for three years and my brother which the teachers thought were mentally handicapped, had been stopping me. Mama said ain't no retard in this family and I got hit for that because D. started laughing when I said I guess you're not in the gene pool! I begged for two hours saying I didn't know where it came from. She said she did - my daddy. That's were the Idea came from. Next time I got hit I would leave. But I never followed through. I didn't know where he was.

Then I met this girl and she got a job and hooked me up with a job so I could get close. See they had a saying you want close get a job! Well I met this really nice guy and started dating him. Well, we broke up and he introduced me into his cousin. He was huuuu. I fell!! Well it didn't last. We found out we were cousins on my DAD'S SIDE. YAY, right? No. But yeah I guess well about a month later I got hit again and ran away.

Well that's my story. I hope it will help some one who thinks they're at the end like I was !

Always
F. : )

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