Where Do I Go From Here?

Hay. I'm not actually a relative or a runaway (yet), but I wanted to write
something that other people can look at, and relate to. See, I'm a 15 year
old girl, and I recently moved away from home with my parents, but I'm just
not happy. Since Istarted school, I've been completely miserable. At first,
everything was ok, my grades improved, and I started to make some really
nice friends, but before long, people were starting to try and make trouble
for me. I guess i can handle it when it's just vicious rumours, but when it
turns into mental and physical abuse, that's not right.

I'm in school at the moment, and i have just been threatened by a gang of girls saying they wannna give me beats! Yeah right! I'm not into fighting, I know too well what it can do to people, and I don't like falling out with people.

When I moved away from my home, I was gutted. Saying goodbye to my friends was the hardest thing I ever had to do, and I know it always will be. They were all like brothers and sisters to me, and I had alot of history back home, that I didn't want to leave behind. Of course, when I moved down, I had to split up with my boyfriend, and that was really hard. Then when I moved down here, I told myself that I would try my hardest to pretend I was fine and that I wasn't homesick. I didn't want to upset my parents, so I perservered, and at first things were great. But before long I became a new target, someone new to knock down and degrade.

It was ok though, cos by then, I had a new boyfriend. His name was Ross, and i was crazy about him! He was the first boy I ever had a proper realtionship with, and he was the first person I slept with, so naturally, he is very special. But after three months (and two days) he broke up with me. His excuse was that he couldn't concentrate on his GCSE's when we were together. He broke my heart. Two months have past, and only now, am I really beginning to get over him. I don't have trouble finding boys, but the thing is, I don't think I will ever be as happy with anyone else, as I was with Ross.

A couple of weeks after I'd moved down here, a friend from back home
committed suicide by hanging himself, and I didn't even find out til about 2
weeks after his funeral. I was beaten up about 2 months after I moved down
here, for no apparent reason, and now my mum and step dad are starting to
drive me crazy. I just want to go back home.

Things aren't improving at home, and now I'm too scared to walk down the
corridor alone in case I get attacked by some of the b*tches here. So, I know this boy who's in the same sorta position as me, and we're planning on running away next month. We dont know where we'll go, and we don't know what we'll do when we've left, but we just feel like we've had enough.

I know my story doesn't come close to all the s*it most of you have been
through, but i guess we all cope with things in different ways. Thanks for takin the time to read this. My love go's out to all of you that's sittin there in the same position as me right now. x x x

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