Why is life so hard?

When I was younger and didn't know about pain and suffering, things went well for me and my two parents. We had everything a normal family would want. But things had changed when I was about 8 or around that age. By then I became smarter in ways of things that were not. From what I remember till this day it started out when my dad was working from morning to night. Of course my mom didn't want or like that, but she knew that's how we have to live.

So she got fed up with it and turned to drugs. Like marijuana, cocaine and all that stuff that could harm or kill you. At that time I was starting to realize what wrongness she was doing. And like an idiot and a little snitch which she called me, I told on her to my teachers and principal. They wanted to talk to her and so they did and she decided to lie and say she was making a special surprise for me. She made me lie and threatened me if I told the truth. So I lied.

And from that day on I grew sad and depressed and wasn't a normal child no more and all I could do was worry and not stay focused on school. I grew large pimples and gained alot of weight. I didn't know if my dad knew or not, but he got more anger inside of him. He still worked constantly at his family restaurant. My mom stayed on drugs and left me and my father and I guess she lived everywhere.

As I cry right now I hate to say she wasn't and still isn't there for me now at the times I need a mom. And my dad and I are never getting along any more. We always argue about everything that's going on.

Then the worst thing that could happen happened my Grandma decided to sell the restaurant at the worst time in the year 2000, which by then everything went downhill. My mom left to New Mexico trying to get back on her feet which really didn't happen, my dad lost his job when we desperately needed money.

My Grandfather is ready to die from being so old. My dad and I live in a one bedroom apt. My family does not like us at all, and my dad has no friends. I don't get along with school that well because of my problems with life. I used to tell my classmates I was really rich, but now I keep my mouth shut and get made fun of and argue with people I don't like.

When I reached the age eleven I discovered I could sing and write songs, and just fell in love with rap R&B music. That's when I knew I wanted to be a famous singer, dancer, swimmer or a horseback rider.

Now as the days are getting older, I am understanding what's going on and just feel trapped and can't think of anything to do to solve these problems. I tried running away when my dad was here and that ended up as violence which I am not going to explain.

I then started to think the police was no help because they are friends with my dad and believe everything he says and he got out of things easily.

As for my mom she has a bill of child support of $10,960 she needs to pay still to this day, and many others as well. And if she doesn't get a job in the next few months she's going to jail.

I tried running away but had nowhere to go, so I just derailed with it and changed to an adult at age 12, and forgot what is was like being a kid.

After typing so much I should end now to let you know the best part of my young life as a teen is I am a believer, and believe that things will get better for me and share my intelligence to become something right.

So now I learned to just be what I want to be and figure out ways to this hard life of mine - to believe and try to achieve my dreams - to get better in life. But I still have one question I need to accomplish, which is, why do things have to be so hard in life?

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